I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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