The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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