Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
