'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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