I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
