Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
