batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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