She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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