my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
