So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
