we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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