im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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