you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
