I'm going to jail i love you
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
