you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize