I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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