i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
