sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
where are my eyebrows?
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