Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
