There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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