I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
