Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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