I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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