dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
