he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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