You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
