you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
