All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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