At least make sure they are 18
Why
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
