This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
