that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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