Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
