Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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