With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
