I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
