so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
