Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
