I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
