Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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