using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
