# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
