She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
