I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
