I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize