here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
