I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
