There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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