When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
