i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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