A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
