I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
