this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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