So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
