I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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