I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
