Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
