"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
