I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
