Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
