haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
