Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
