He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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